Tsunamis and earthquakes, oh my.

This is not news, you understand. There had been earthquakes, tsunamis, floodings, tornadoes, hurricanes, all that this year and past years, and human beings are grieving for what they had lost and ranting, "Why did this happen??" I may be attacked for saying this, but I have to say it... It happened..it's natural... Folks have to take the bad WITH the good with wherever they live or go on vacation. When folks get angry at natural "disasters", I look at them and think, "that's you..you're thinking of yourself, and you consider everything is against you." Me, I had seen a tornado twice, experienced a tornado's destruction and a hurricane, had gone through flooding areas, and many snowstorms, and I'll tell you something.... Destruction is amazing if it's natural, and it's meant to be. Earth isn't here for human beings only, the water currents, air flows, the land movements, it's the world's awareness of itself and to adjust itself to shifts through the galaxy. Remember... Earth is a young planet, and it is still growing. I'll say I admire countries for sending aid and money to the ailing countries that suffered the earthquakes and the tsunamis; but that will always be so.... There will be always natural "disasters," and nothing we can do about that, take that or not. LIVE with it. There's no such as "safe lands," and even Greenland couldn't say it is safe, with that volcano. Japan? hell, with its earthquakes. Africa? AIDS, famine, and locusts. Russia? Maybe Russian Mafia if not freezing to death, I'll guess- hail to vodka! Heck, if anyone could tell me of -one- country that doesn't experience earthquakes, floodings, famine, floodings, tornadoes, hurricanes, heat waves, wildfires, mudslides, volcanos, natural "disasters", and I'll bet you, I'll pack my stuff and move there, and get bored with it all, and move back here. Why? We NEED the natural disasters to wake us up and to be aware that we're not in power. Nature is. Heck, what had happened to the already-endangered animal species on those islands? Won't be surprised if they had died out in this tsunami. If not for tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, floodings, natural disasters, human beings would be already conceited thinking that they are the powerful ones on the world. oh wait.. They are already thinking that way. Silly me....

Cold, a curse on you!

Now how would one get a cold, let me ask you? Especially among family that had no colds, (as they claim.) I ended up with the worst cold I had ever encountered; I actually couldn't lift my arms without straining, or of lifting my legs to make a step forth in an attempt to walk. Never had happened to me before. Very terrifying. My throat was very painful as well that everytime I tried to swallow something, or just gulp, it felt like I was swallowing a ball of nails. Nasty, no?
The visit to Grandpa's coffin the day before the funeral was... emotional. I thought I could stay calm and dry-eyed. I was first of all 8 grandchildren to dash out crying, but I wasn't alone. All but my brother Zach (and I found out later he had already seen the coffin earlier that day) ended up sitting all together on that extra-long sofa and sobbed together. Strange enough, I felt more human this way, I'm involved. For you all folks, that may not make sense, but I'll try. As I grew up, I never had been really "involved" in family events, I was always a wallflower, or someone "outside looking inside the window." At the funeral, there was an interpreter, and... I'll say two words.. she was not good. I still remember that sign she used for the Bible, a fist slamming on the other hand as if stabbing a nail through it then vice verse.. very..morbid... :P But I should not complain..I got an interpreter! = 0
At the lunch after the funeral, I got to learn more about Grandpa, history that I grew up, and I learned something very drastically different between my mother's family and my dad's family. (They are divorced.) It dawned upon me that it's my dad's family is the one that makes all the efforts to get to know me, to make efforts to talk with me (either by emailing, writing forth and back, signing, and speaking (lip-reading), and to touch me, by hugging, patting my hand, kissing me, and (sigh) cheek-pinching. Mother's family, love them, but I'm often than not left in the dark, words thrown back and forth over my head, but for words, "How are you?" "What's up?" "you okay?" "you in school?" and a few comments. There'd be touching, but not -that- kind of hugs that you'd probably get in a family, but as awkward and quick-to-end. I was reminded by someone that I should be glad that I get that. Especially when I think of other families with deaf individuals, and she's right- but I have the right to observe and wish for myself...

It's for you, Grandpa

I know that we hadn't talked much while I was growing up into adulthood. But I remembered your humming while holding me so hard that I could feel my ribs cracking, and your 5'0 clock shadow would rub harshly on my cheek. But I loved those hugs, because that's you. I never had gotten any criticizations, judgements, or anger from him to me as long as I could remember. I know that we couldn't talk much because I couldn't understand, but I felt strongly that our hearts communicated to each other. I had always felt peace and joy within me everytime I saw your smile and that twinkle in your lively eyes. The rumble of your voice while you talked to someone over my head while I was sitting on your lap while I was a child. I rode those tractors with you, and I loved that. I remember your sweat merged with the scent of cut wheat and oil of the tractor, and that is what I will always remember what the scent of love is for me when I think of you. I remember when the cousins and I would try to ride on that grass mower, or the red wagon while you would pull us. We would play Scrabble, cards, or other games on the table by dusk. I remember how you loved that leather armchair while watching your news or sports on the television after working on the farm. I could imagine you holding me everytime I sit on that armchair. I love you, and I already miss you.. Rest in peace.