Friday, June 29, 2007

What do Victim Advocates do?

What do Victim Advocates (VAs) do, especially for agencies working with deaf victims of domestic violence and sexual assault? I thought to give you an unique perception into what one can experience. I had been a VA in the past and I thought, "why not let people know what it's like, and maybe there'd be more volunteers for the agencies?" That'd be wonderful!

Mind you, I will not tell you where I volunteered, where the agency was located at, nor giving you identificating characteristics of who I worked with (both staff and victims.) This is for the purpose of protecting the agency's staff and volunteers as well as the victims they work with. Also, keep it in mind that each volunteer advocate will encounter a variety of experiences, none alike. For one VA, it may be a quiet week with some calls asking for information about services for deaf children living in a shelter. Another VA may encounter a challenging time of working with a victim who escaped from an abusive husband, and may remind the cops to get an interpreter for the interview. One other VA could go with another VA to a hospital to give support for a college student who experienced a date rape. At the office, a VA may be busy talking with a victim about making a safe plan. You see?

Now I would like to give you some of some VA's as well as my experiences; both devasting and rewarding.
Usually there are two-three VAs on call every week or other week. Yes there is agency staff and supervisor but hey, they need their sleep and a break. Do you truly expect them to be available 24/7/365? If so, they'd be dead on their feet! Hence, that's why there are volunteer advocates! It could be busy sometimes and quiet other times.

One time there was a call into requesting information about activities for deaf children living with a mother in a shelter, since they were isolated and want to play with other deaf children as well as getting an intpreter for the parent at group support. The shelter was provided information such as after-school programs, weekend camping and children workshops. There were good feelings, knowing that that shelter really cared for the children and the mother enough to ask for help and be willing to go out of their way to give extra support!

Another time, a self-esteem workshop for survivors of domestic violence was provided. That workshop's goals were to give the survivors tools to build up their self-esteem that had been serevely damaged by the abusive spouse. Learning to look inward, to recognize symptoms of degrading behaviors that can harm self-esteem, practicing how to say "no" without feeling guilty, and also learning to laugh and enjoy themeselves are very valuable tools! Seeing the survivors with hope and a spark growing in their eyes, as they leave the workshop can leave the instructor feel she did her job!

One night, there was a call from an hospital for a sexual assult. I came to find that there was a deaf female who experienced a sexual assault. I was surprised to find that there was no interpreter at the police interview. I reminded the hospital staff that the victim had the right to an interpreter and so they got one right away. I talked with the victim and it helped her profoundly knowing that there was a deaf victim advocate, able to talk with her in HER language (ASL) and to give empathy with her as she wasn't able to get from police and hospital. With that interpreter there, the victim was more able to participate in what was necessary in gathering evidence from that sexual assault, so they can prove in court that the person who sexually abused her, was indeed the predator! I empowered her by telling her often it's HER decision on what's going to happen to her body, HER decision on who can stay in the room with her or not, HER decision on if she wants to press charges, no one else cannot tell her otherwise! More she got to understand what happened, I encouraged the victim to consider a second interview with the police with an interpreter if she felt comfortable. She went home, feeling much better knowing she have support from this agency and can expect furthermore support about legal and medical advocacy as well as counseling if necessary.

One other day, research was done on local services available to the agency; setting up networking with other agencies and services, such as food stamps, shelters, food banks, clothes banks; Each organization was checked upon whether they had access to a TDD and if they are willing to work with this non-profit organization working with deaf women and children.

Another time, training was provided to the local sheriff and staff on how to work with deaf individuals,such as learning how to use a TDD and how to accept VRS or HOVRS calls; learning basic signs such as "help you?" "need interpreter?" or "calm down"; and how to interact with deaf victims such as eye contact and asking them how they prefer to communicate.

So as you can see, there are a variety of experiences and encounters. Never the same for each victim advocate. Like I said, it can be quiet for some victim advocates... Hell, I'd have to be honest with you and say that not many VAs would get the call to a location where police called for help working with deaf victim who just got beaten up by an abusive spouse! It's rare that one would get a call to a hospital for a deaf victim! It's very much quiet most of the time, but it's also good to be prepared! I enjoyed working as a volunteer victim advocate. What lessons I learned from volunteer will help me profoundly when I become a mental health counselor. Oh! Before I go on, there are a variety of people who volunteer! Some can be teachers, some can be self-employed, some can be mechanics, some can be college students. So volunteer advocates are not required to be in mental health or social work professions. As long as they are able to empathize with the victim, be willing to help out and be available. Knowledge in deaf culture and ASL is very important, however we do work with hard-of-hearing and deaf/blind victims as well.

Before I finish this article, I would stress that working as a victim advocate can be rewarding; we give the victims HOPE and MOTIVATION.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Child Abuse? Part 2

Part 2:

I have encountered a deaf woman that I will never forget; she used her SSI to buy cigarettes, drugs and comic books, while neglecting her 4 children. I had seen her house and what it’s like inside. It’s very much a dump, with dirty clothes here and there in piles, cats using them as litter boxes. Cigarette butts all over the coffee table, floor and everything that could hold an ashtray or a dirty plate. I had to take away a cig butt from the 4-year old boy who was puffing on it. I caught the 9 year old boy going through my purse and was pocketing a twenty when I busted him. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was hungry. I took the children out and got them something to eat. They ate so quickly as if they were afraid that the food would be taken from them. What was I supposed to do? I called human services and they sent a social worker. But guess what? The parent managed to keep her children. The social worker DID NOT BRING AN ASL INTERPRETER and hence the judge said due to THAT, they cannot take the children from the mother. OY VEY!!! I told human service to BRING an interpreter and they didn’t heed me! It took the next-door neighbor to report the mother and the children, AND THEN the social worker brought an interpreter. At this time, the children are taken care of by a relative. The mother can only see her children under supervision of the social worker. From what I understand, she will never get them back because she made no effort to attend parenting and drug recovery classes. She does not show up for the supervised visits much.

I am sorry but this issue is important for everyone, not just you or me. EVERYONE. Too often there are fuck-ups with human services and social work when it comes to deaf children experiencing abuse or deaf parents abusing their children. (Mind you, I’m NOT saying that *all* deaf parents are abusive or that *all* deaf children experience abuse.) According to the report I found, “Facts on Trauma and Deaf Children” from NCTSN (The National Child Traumatic Stress Network), there are statistical information about what deaf children may encounter: (more facts in report but I chose three for the entry.)

1) Deaf children are more vulnerable to neglect, emotional, physical and sexual abuse than children in the general population.

2) 50% of deaf girls have been sexually abused as compared to 25% of hearing girls.

3) 54% of deaf boys have been sexually abused as compared to 10% of hearing boys.

Why is that? The barriers concurring to the report: (there are more barriers in the report but I chose three most likely.)

1) Difficulty in teaching deaf children about safety.

2) Assumptions by perpetrators that deaf children are less able to report abuse.

3) Less understanding of the limitations of healthy/safe touching.

You see? I cannot identify the agency or deaf clients that I worked with but I can tell you that 80% of the clients experienced sexual or physical abuse as children. One client told me that he was forced by fellow students to perform certain sexual activities in a residental school and the house counselor knew about it but took no action. That house counselor JOINED sometimes. Another client said that as a child, she learned to show how she loves people; she’d sit on their laps and play with herself. (I changed behaviors to protect her identify.) As an adult, she had to learn from counselors that that she was abused sexually. I can speak from personal experience, when I was sexually abused, I didn’t know it was WRONG. No one told me about saying no and that touching in private areas was not permitted and that I could report to a trusted adult. It was later on when I was a teenager when I learned about sexual abuse brought up in a social studies class. I broke down and cried. I felt horrible but at the same time, relieved knowing that it wasn’t MY FAULT. Now I could tell someone and I did but not at that time of my life. It took 20 years later for me to open up and tell someone. At that point, I found then that there is NO status of limitation on when child abusers/molesters can be arrested in the state I reside in. I gave the information of who the person was and fortunately for me, her past address. After the agency did research, I was told that she was killed in an automobile accident long ago. All I can hope is that she is suffering in hell. ‘Nuff to say.

What solutions, one may ask, could be offered to protect children AND ensure that it is child abuse truly? Good question… The report by NCTSN have some suggestions for counselors as in providing certified interpreters, reviewing background (educational background and school setting), supports as well as having consultants who know deaf culture and deaf norms. The writers acknowledge “although the ideal best practice for serving the Deaf community involves specialized service interventions that are staffed by sign-fluent and/or Deaf clinicians, the current reality in many communities is that these types of programs are often unavailable.” For schools, I would suggest, as according to some clients who experienced sexual abuse in school; have teachers learn about sexual abuse AND teach the students about boundaries and reporting any kind of abuse to trusted adults, as well as having teachers, staff and drivers be checked for criminal records in the state they reside as well as in other states. Gods know there are a number of teachers (as reported in news) that would move to other states to teach even after they get reported as a child molester in the original state. I got some silver strands in my hair after I read that. Parents would need to be responsible as well, teaching their children. Just don’t be overprotective! An anxiety-ridden friend of mine stressed over, OVER and OVER that if anyone touches or talk to her daughter, that girl was to tell her. Many times the friend complains to me that the girl cries every time someone just pats her head, or she’d scream bloodletting if an old lady bends down to say “you’re cute!”

Why I’m bringing child abuse up? It is because I see those articles about CI and I was thinking “okay, CI could be considered child abuse, granted but sexual and physical abuse is MORE common.” There’s not enough articles about sexual and physical abuse among deaf children. There is one report online as I said, from NCTSN (www.NCTSNet.org) and some articles written in journals such as Journal of Sexuality and Disability, Journal of Deaf Studies and Deaf Education, and American Annals of the Deaf . Not much for resources, why is that? “Speak no evil, see no evil and hear no evil” and “Don’t ask, don’t tell” comes to my mind. When it comes to CI implants for children, I’m not crazy about that idea. I’m honest about that, but honestly….. To call it child abuse? You have ABSOLUTELY no idea. That’s damn overuse of the term “child abuse.” To MY interpretation, it is not child abuse. It is IGNORANCE. The parents of deaf children are IGNORANT about the Deaf community and what it can offer to the deaf child The medical administration and education division ENCOURAGE the parents to depend on their “truths.” Who do the parents see when they find out the child is deaf? The doctors are right there here and now to give all options to the parents. Where is the deaf representative to speak up for the deaf community? Nowhere. How would the hearing parents KNOW about the deaf community? You tell me that. Very few have access to the community if any, and so it’s ignorance, not child abuse. It’d be NICE if the hearing parents would have access to resources like internet and deaf organizations- but sadly, that’s not enough. NOT enough.

So, to end this, please stop using the term “child abuse” when it comes to cochlear implants for children. Ignorance is more appropiate in my opinion. If you really want to help pervent child abuse, support human services and deaf organizations that need to have better access and resources to protect deaf children from REAL child abuse.

Child Abuse? Part 1

I realize that I may have stepped on a fireant hill by writing this article but I HAD TO. I wrote it a "tad too long" so I'm going to break it into two pieces. It is about child abuse in the deaf community. I wrote about it because of the issue of considering CIs for children as "child abuse." You're welcome to disagree with me; you have that right. Here we go.

Reading articles in newspapers and magazines and watching news on television yesterday, I was thinking, ‘Damn, is it me or are there an increase in child abuse (physical and/or sexual)?” There was a teacher sentenced to jail for molesting an 11 year old student. Also there was news about parents taken to trial for starving their 9-year old daughter. Foster parents putting their developmentally disabled children in cages. You get the idea. AND then reading entries by bloggers on Deafread about the hot topic of CI for children. I talked with two friends about the topic of child abuse today at lunch. We brought up three theories. Mind you, they are NOT facts, just theories we created.

A) Media pay more attention to reports of child abuse hence news. “MOM JAILED FOR HOMICIDE OF 4 CHILDREN” would get the reporter’s name noticed as well as the issue, than an article about pollution of a local river, methinks.

B) Child abuse is easier to recognize now. In other words, teachers, police, social workers, neighbors and relatives have sharper eyes than before, due to media that reports on child abuse and working with organizations that protect children.

C) Family issues weren’t much talked about in the past generations. Too many adults tell me that they didn’t talk to anyone else about the physical or sexual abuse they received from parents, siblings, relatives or caretakers not related to them. Why not? If no one talked about it, what were the children in 50’s to 80’s supposed to think? “We don’t talk about it, so you cannot bring it up.” is the main interpretation. Hence- now we have television commercials about child abuse as well as teachers and social workers talking with children “if anyone touch you without your permission, tell him NO. Inform us right away.” So there are more children willing to tell although not many. Many children feel that if they inform someone else, the family will be torn apart and the child will potentially feel it’s his fault then. (I know and you know that it wouldn’t be his fault, but that’s HOW the average child thinks.)

Now, looking at those three theories, I realized there are a connection between the theories A, B and C. Due to media reporting on child abuse, there is more attention to child abuse and the need to protect the children, THEN that’s when social workers, teachers and parents come in, especially if there are survivors among social workers, teachers and parents. Due to what children experienced in past generations, those adult survivors are being loud and putting the spotlight on child abuse, hence the media comes in…

However, there is a concern about overabuse (no pun on that word) of using the term “Child abuse.” A bruise on a child’s arm would be a red flag for child abuse; never mind that the child had gotten that bruise from playing football- and isn’t football tough? Often than not, due to certain health conditions, bones can be easily broken, there would be bruises from just a light touch and there can be also mental disorders such as a child banging her head on the wall for stimulation, or a teenager cutting herself to FEEL. Understandably there is SIB (Self injurious behavior), in which the child/adolescent/adult (more likely a female teenager) will hurt themselves on purpose to experience feelings or a release from feelings they encounter. SIB can be also a red flag because often than not, SIB occurs due to sexual abuse.

Sorry for going off the topic, the point is that there is a concern about overreacting to ‘possibility of child abuse.” One child of a friend I know had told her substitute teacher that her dad hit her. The school called for a social worker and cops! Guess what? There was no father in the picture. (Her dad died before she was born.) The child admitted to lying because she was angry that her mother won’t get her a pony for her birthday. You see? On the other hand, there was a child coming to school with bruises all over. The teachers paid no attention after he said that he got them all from falling down the stairs. He’d come to school with bruises now and then and no one took action. It was a new teacher coming in winter that asked him explicit questions such as “How did you get this bruise? When? Do you have stairs at home? How many steps?” and she stressed over and over that he is NOT in trouble and that she has his safety in mind. That’s when he opened up and admitted that it was his mother using a belt. So, to me, the quote “damned if you don’t, damned if you do” applies to the topic of child abuse.

Too many children out there are returned to parents that promise they won’t lay a hand on the child and then the child end up dead or furthermore injured either mentally or physically. There are also too many children taken away from parents who TRULY love them and wouldn’t dream of hurting them; the social workers don’t do their homework fully or the judge overreacts.
Thus ends the first part.

My favorite blogs

Hello! I am back from California. Just finished the scapebook about the trip to California. A lot of sights were exhausting for me to deal with! In other words, that tour at Castle Hearst exhausted me to the point that I even elected to stay in for one day! 300 steps, not counting the long walk through the gardens (hilly), guesthouse and the main house...and me with a cane. So for now, I will write about blogs that I enjoy reading and will always check daily to see if there is a new entry.

I like a variety of blogs; political, sarcastic, blunt-but-true, funny, heartwretching, informative and resourceful. There are some blogs that can be two at same time; informative and sarcastic, could be funny and heartwretching; horrific and political. So I thought, "why not let other people learn about those blogs?" After all, it is the readers who inform OTHER readers and hence the blog gets more readers.

I like Violent Arces because the woman here is very blunt- love her for that, yet she is not cruel. She will say what is off her chest.
http://www.violentacres.com/

I enjoy reading Mishka Zena's blog. I can depend on the fact that she will do all her best to get facts and provide them to the readers. If she makes a mistake, she will admit it. You can tell how much she loves the Deaf community and see her passion to ensure that the deaf people have better treatment and best resources one could find. While other bloggers may be more passionate, she keeps her mind and tell from her perceptive neutrally as possible, letting the readers decide for themselves. That's how much I appreciate it.
http://blog.deafread.com/mishkazena

I rode in the Tube when I was in London. What is the Tube? It's their word for the subways. The articles there are quirky; sometimes can be serious, sometimes with tongue in the cheek.
http://london-underground.blogspot.com/

Due to having a parent with NPD (Narcisstic personality disorder), I found this blog recently and I check it daily. From one perception, she may look bitter and blunt; but who could blame her with the upraising she had as a child and a teenager? On the other hand, I feel she is very strong and not afraid to show her vulnerability. That is her strength.
http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/

I love to read Postsecret. You could never know what postcards would come in for the writer to post on his blog. Folks expose themselves to reveal their secrets yet stay anonymous. I beleive one deafread article was about this blog, especially with one postcard showing CI pamphets, hearing aids information, etc and a human baby. You can somewhat feel the angst from the parent from that postcard. Emotions are varied for each postcard and it depends on HOW the reader interprets it and if that emotions are exactly what the writers/artists desire.
http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

I read this blog "The Gods are Bored" like one would stare at a car accident. You couldn't predict WHAT the writer would write and I believe that's the attraction. For me, I can't help but think "........." at a loss for words when I read articles yet I come off that blog with a grin on my face. Hands up in the air!
http://godsrbored.blogspot.com/

As y'all know that I am interested in mental health counseling. By the way, I'm off to Gallaudet University this fall for graduate school. WHEE! Anyway- one of my interests is DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder, which in past was called "Multiple Personality Disorder.) I have always hoped one day I'd work with deaf people with DID. So far there is one deaf individual that I now and then trade emails with (hope she'd get in hold with me soon- hint, hint!) This is a blog, however the writer converses with her commenters now and then that I read with interest. I find this blog an excellent resource from someone who EXPERIENCES the disorder herself.
http://www.aspenleafhosting.com/cat/?page_id=13

All right, that's it for now. I have more blogs on my blogroll but enough! I hope you, readers will find the blogs either entertaining or challenging your own views.