What else? Deafness and domestic violence.

Reading Mishka Zena and Berke Outspoken's blogs about Tallie's death (and domestic violence)I had to say something. I am a volunteer for an agency in which I will not name to protect my identity. (Sure you know my picture but you don't know my real name and that's the main goal.) Anyway, back to the point. I think Berke has it close on why the media jumped on Wright case but not Lambert case; however I think it is because of two things...

1) Lambert is a guy (white) and Tallie was a woman. According to this site, http://www.now.org/issues/violence/stats.html, four women are killed everyday related to domestic violence. The sentence lasts at "the euphemism for murders and assaults by husbands and boyfriends." Nothing about same-sex relationships or lesbian relationships. I know there are DV murders of African-american and American-asian women. However, Daphne Wright is a lesbian, an African-american AND deaf hence, the media jumps on the boat.

2) It is in South Dakota. Come on, that's where they tried to ban abortion (all types) and the people had to come to the voting polls last November to say NO. South Dakota isn't like New York, California, Colorado, Illinois or Florida. I am not saying it is backwater, but many people would think that!

Now, I want to talk about domestic violence in the deaf community. I hate to say it but it DOES exist. Not many folks realize it or even WANT to keep their heads in the ground.

I have seen some verbal abuse "You're stupid," "You don't know how to be responsible" "You always run to your mommy," etc. Heck, I had EVEN seen one guy telling his girlfriend front of EVERYONE at Six Flags Elitches two years ago, "Your butt is SO big! How do you fit it through the door." To my shame, no one stood up for that poor woman(I didn't because I think I was too nervous about the guy, he was 6 feet tall and somewhat muscular.) I have always wondered how she is now and if she is all right. (Hey, if you know who I am talking about, leave a comment! The comments don't show up right away, they are private until I review them for moderation. So I don't have to publish your comment if that is your concern.) Many folks say "the deaf community is very outspoken and very blunt, so how would I know if they are just being blunt or practicing verbal abuse??" True... then you need to ASK yourself, would you ACCEPT that verbal abuse? Do you feel hurt by the comments? Do you find yourself afraid to speak back? Do you look away? That are your answers then; it IS verbal and emotional abuse. You know what physical abuse look like so I don't have to expand on that.

I have seen some DVDs and videos sent from other agencies what domestic violence could look like and what deaf individuals may encounter (as obstacles as in agencies not knowing how to use TDDS or how to work with deaf victims.) Recently I saw a new DVD sent by Deafhope and I HIGHLY recommend everyone to see it! My memory is "off" at this time, but I think the title says "Til Death do (Domestic violence) we part." It gives ideas what domestic violence LOOKS like (physical, emotional, mental and verbal abuse.) What really touched me was the ending where they had photos of deaf women who died at hands of boyfriends or husbands. It made me realize something, while recognizing some individuals in photos, that the Deaf world IS smaller and that we all need to work together on learning how to identify domestic violence and how to prevent it. Miskena already gave info on agencies that DO work with deaf victims. I want to add that there ARE more agencies out there that can work with deaf victims but we need to work with those agencies to teach them HOW to interact and assist deaf victims!