Part 2:
I have encountered a deaf woman that I will never forget; she used her SSI to buy cigarettes, drugs and comic books, while neglecting her 4 children. I had seen her house and what it’s like inside. It’s very much a dump, with dirty clothes here and there in piles, cats using them as litter boxes. Cigarette butts all over the coffee table, floor and everything that could hold an ashtray or a dirty plate. I had to take away a cig butt from the 4-year old boy who was puffing on it. I caught the 9 year old boy going through my purse and was pocketing a twenty when I busted him. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was hungry. I took the children out and got them something to eat. They ate so quickly as if they were afraid that the food would be taken from them. What was I supposed to do? I called human services and they sent a social worker. But guess what? The parent managed to keep her children. The social worker DID NOT BRING AN ASL INTERPRETER and hence the judge said due to THAT, they cannot take the children from the mother. OY VEY!!! I told human service to BRING an interpreter and they didn’t heed me! It took the next-door neighbor to report the mother and the children, AND THEN the social worker brought an interpreter. At this time, the children are taken care of by a relative. The mother can only see her children under supervision of the social worker. From what I understand, she will never get them back because she made no effort to attend parenting and drug recovery classes. She does not show up for the supervised visits much.
I am sorry but this issue is important for everyone, not just you or me. EVERYONE. Too often there are fuck-ups with human services and social work when it comes to deaf children experiencing abuse or deaf parents abusing their children. (Mind you, I’m NOT saying that *all* deaf parents are abusive or that *all* deaf children experience abuse.) According to the report I found, “Facts on Trauma and Deaf Children” from NCTSN (The National Child Traumatic Stress Network), there are statistical information about what deaf children may encounter: (more facts in report but I chose three for the entry.)
1) Deaf children are more vulnerable to neglect, emotional, physical and sexual abuse than children in the general population.
2) 50% of deaf girls have been sexually abused as compared to 25% of hearing girls.
3) 54% of deaf boys have been sexually abused as compared to 10% of hearing boys.
Why is that? The barriers concurring to the report: (there are more barriers in the report but I chose three most likely.)
1) Difficulty in teaching deaf children about safety.
2) Assumptions by perpetrators that deaf children are less able to report abuse.
3) Less understanding of the limitations of healthy/safe touching.
You see? I cannot identify the agency or deaf clients that I worked with but I can tell you that 80% of the clients experienced sexual or physical abuse as children. One client told me that he was forced by fellow students to perform certain sexual activities in a residental school and the house counselor knew about it but took no action. That house counselor JOINED sometimes. Another client said that as a child, she learned to show how she loves people; she’d sit on their laps and play with herself. (I changed behaviors to protect her identify.) As an adult, she had to learn from counselors that that she was abused sexually. I can speak from personal experience, when I was sexually abused, I didn’t know it was WRONG. No one told me about saying no and that touching in private areas was not permitted and that I could report to a trusted adult. It was later on when I was a teenager when I learned about sexual abuse brought up in a social studies class. I broke down and cried. I felt horrible but at the same time, relieved knowing that it wasn’t MY FAULT. Now I could tell someone and I did but not at that time of my life. It took 20 years later for me to open up and tell someone. At that point, I found then that there is NO status of limitation on when child abusers/molesters can be arrested in the state I reside in. I gave the information of who the person was and fortunately for me, her past address. After the agency did research, I was told that she was killed in an automobile accident long ago. All I can hope is that she is suffering in hell. ‘Nuff to say.
What solutions, one may ask, could be offered to protect children AND ensure that it is child abuse truly? Good question… The report by NCTSN have some suggestions for counselors as in providing certified interpreters, reviewing background (educational background and school setting), supports as well as having consultants who know deaf culture and deaf norms. The writers acknowledge “although the ideal best practice for serving the Deaf community involves specialized service interventions that are staffed by sign-fluent and/or Deaf clinicians, the current reality in many communities is that these types of programs are often unavailable.” For schools, I would suggest, as according to some clients who experienced sexual abuse in school; have teachers learn about sexual abuse AND teach the students about boundaries and reporting any kind of abuse to trusted adults, as well as having teachers, staff and drivers be checked for criminal records in the state they reside as well as in other states. Gods know there are a number of teachers (as reported in news) that would move to other states to teach even after they get reported as a child molester in the original state. I got some silver strands in my hair after I read that. Parents would need to be responsible as well, teaching their children. Just don’t be overprotective! An anxiety-ridden friend of mine stressed over, OVER and OVER that if anyone touches or talk to her daughter, that girl was to tell her. Many times the friend complains to me that the girl cries every time someone just pats her head, or she’d scream bloodletting if an old lady bends down to say “you’re cute!”
Why I’m bringing child abuse up? It is because I see those articles about CI and I was thinking “okay, CI could be considered child abuse, granted but sexual and physical abuse is MORE common.” There’s not enough articles about sexual and physical abuse among deaf children. There is one report online as I said, from NCTSN (www.NCTSNet.org) and some articles written in journals such as Journal of Sexuality and Disability, Journal of Deaf Studies and Deaf Education, and American Annals of the Deaf . Not much for resources, why is that? “Speak no evil, see no evil and hear no evil” and “Don’t ask, don’t tell” comes to my mind. When it comes to CI implants for children, I’m not crazy about that idea. I’m honest about that, but honestly….. To call it child abuse? You have ABSOLUTELY no idea. That’s damn overuse of the term “child abuse.” To MY interpretation, it is not child abuse. It is IGNORANCE. The parents of deaf children are IGNORANT about the Deaf community and what it can offer to the deaf child The medical administration and education division ENCOURAGE the parents to depend on their “truths.” Who do the parents see when they find out the child is deaf? The doctors are right there here and now to give all options to the parents. Where is the deaf representative to speak up for the deaf community? Nowhere. How would the hearing parents KNOW about the deaf community? You tell me that. Very few have access to the community if any, and so it’s ignorance, not child abuse. It’d be NICE if the hearing parents would have access to resources like internet and deaf organizations- but sadly, that’s not enough. NOT enough.
So, to end this, please stop using the term “child abuse” when it comes to cochlear implants for children. Ignorance is more appropiate in my opinion. If you really want to help pervent child abuse, support human services and deaf organizations that need to have better access and resources to protect deaf children from REAL child abuse.
9 comments:
The physical, physical, mental, and emotional abuses inflicted on deaf children are horrible.
However, the language deprivation, emotional and communication isolation experienced by the deaf child, if and when oralism fails to meet the child's language needs can be experienced as abuse to the child itself, whether it was intentional or not. That's the point you don't get. The parents may not have been abusive or neglient on purpose as it was done by ignorance. However, audiologists, and oral education system who knows better the effects of language deprivation are the abusers by not providing the parents the full information.
The key is this: If the oralism fails, the child feels neglected, deprived, and isolated by lack of communication and language and experiences devastating psychological damage and emotional scars possibly for life as a result. Believe me, I have seen some oral people emotionally permanently crippled that they cannot function well, too many in fact.
Okay. I hear you clear, Mishkazena. You say that due to language deprivation, emotional and communication isolation that the deaf child experience can be emotional abuse with long-term effects. I see that and can respect that. I was a child that grew up with oralism until I was twelve and learned sign language. I didn't really experience much negative influences but for speech therapy. You say that the audiologists and oral education systems are the abusers. THAT point, I agree with you.
Please, look this way, so would one come to the parents and call them CHILD ABUSERS in their faces? Would that endear them to the deaf community? What if later on the parents want to learn about deaf culture but some of the deaf individuals call them child abusers? There is proof as in one entry written about that youtube video of CI activitation and the comments left on that site for one example. That backlash could give the parents the negative impression that the child is well better away from the deaf community? In other words, we'd unintentionally SEND them on their way to Alexander Graham Bell Association for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing and furthermore ALIENATE the child until way later.... That's why I'm ASKING for solutions how to approach parents of deaf children without considering them child abusers like extremists throw paint at people wearing fur coats and not ask if the coat is real or fake.
Growing up, I thought the itinerant tutor I had (for speech therapy and general assistance with mainstreaming) was an exception -- he was tried for child molestation, where I, along with two other children testified against him. (I think he changed his plea before the trial finished and was institutionalized). But what makes my skin crawl is to learn over the last year or so how common this is. It seems that if you're a parent of a deaf child (or any other "disability"), you may need to be checking on the background of the teachers coming in contact with your child, because the schools most certainly are NOT doing this, whether from indifference, laziness, cost, I do not know. It infuriates me. Your second point is not so much an assumption, but a fact: deaf and disabled children ARE so targeted.
However, I do agree with MishkaZena: I think it's fair to characterize as abusive the intention to deprive deaf children of the best means of communication for them, whether that is because they are shuttled off into oralism, delaying introduction of ASL until very late, or shuttled off into CI with required AVT, even when no one knows yet whether that particular child will actually benefit from CI or not. There is no problem with trying to be reasonably diplomatic with hearing parents, of course, but it's still abusive. Child abuse isn't always sexual or physical neglect. Neglecting their communication needs is definitely another form.
We need more deaf case workers...I think they would do a better job than the hearies..
C-
Hi there
In British Columbia, there were manyserious child abuse cases. The judge recognized that many deaf children were vulnerable to physical and sexual abuse due to their language deprivation. THe judge (I cannot remember which one) ordered or recommended that all staff and Deaf children must learn ASL to protect them from sexual or physical abuses. In the judge's eyes, ASL empowers Deaf children to make their own decisions, protects Deaf children from abuses and enhances their confidence and awareness.
That is the fact. No matter who the abusers are. (of course, we must screen them out as much as possible. However most important of all is to make sure Deaf children can make their own judgement and are very much aware of whats going on through natural language, ASL.
Deafchip
Jules:
WOW! What powerful articles. I do feel you. It hurts my heart to know that you were abused when you were a child.
I must agree with MZ and BEG. I was first-hand child abused by oralisml. I needed to communicate and I couldn't for six years of my life. When I was 12 years old, I finally recognize the feelings of happy, sad, angry, disappointed, and etc.. Then I finally caught up all my emotion since I was born to 12 years old. It was hell road for me.
An abused child shouldn't be limit to physical. Once they take a power away from a child, then it called a child abuse.
Every time I look back, I still remember the feelings of no power. It still bothers me. It always will but I learn to channel them into positive like making films, and speaking out for our Deaf children so they wont have traumatic experience like I did.
Once the language deprivation, how can Deaf children speak out about their experience like someone molest her/him or physical abuse her/him? Once they take away the language in order to communicate, then the power was all gone. Remember there is no measure how bad it is to be called a child abuse.
Keep blogging. I admire your writing. Beautiful written.
Aidan
Jules, you are lucky. You were permitted to learn sign language when you were 12 years old. Many oral students weren't permitted to later on when they wanted to and indicated to their parents that oralism was no longer effective to them. Some didn't learn sign language until they became of legal age. How many oral students are 'solitaries' unable to interact with their peers as adults and dealing with chronic emotional problems as a result of their deprivations? How many have failed educational and career aspirations as a result of minimal access to oral communication?
We cannot soft-pedal this, unfortunately, because whether it is intentional or not, it is still experienced as abuse to the affected child. I hate to compare the effects of one abuse with other abuse as I do not want to minimize the impact of any abuse. However, the effects of oralism as the wrong communication method can be devastating, as devastating or worse than sexual, physical, or other aspects of child abuse because the language deprivation is so insidious and robs the child the emotional bonding and self-esteem she/he need to emotionally thrive as adults.
I want to clarify that oralism isn't an automatic sentence of child abuse and that some children do benefit from oralism. But the oral education and the audiologists are failing to educate the parents to recognize the signs of a failed communication system. We can explore this and teach the parents how to learn signs when oralism may not be meeting the communication needs of their children and that their kids are hurting.
BEG, yes, pedophiles intentionally target the disabled children as they are more vulnerable. I am sorry this happened to you. :(
There are points in the debate that I would like to tackle.
For BEG- I'm sorry for what you had gone through. No child should go through any kind of abuse and it was worse for you due to being deaf (the predators targeting disabled children.) I would like to disagree with your comment "There is no problem with trying to be reasonably diplomatic with hearing parents but it's still abusive." As Mish points out there are many children not successful with the oral education system, but on the other hands, there are successful children with CIs. It is a stinking gamble that parents go through and sometimes the gamble fails, sometimes it works. It's the same concept with other kind of surgeries. A baby could have surgeries to close an hole in the heart but dies on the table. Or those Siamese twins being separated, the parents knowing the risks that one or both could die. You know? In some ways, when parents refuse medical help for the child due to religion, is that child abuse or is it a belief that God heals who deserves it? You know what I mean? Yes it is the child that suffers from the CHOICE of the parents but the parents did it FOR the child's sake. Who the hell are we to decide FOR the parents? Many of deaf resent that the hearing people decided many things (AGBAD, oral education system, hearing aids, CIs, etc.) for them, so how would you think the hearing parents FEEL then? So, as I see it, there's no "win-win" solution in this situation but for TWO ideas (THAT may put me on hot coals, I acknowledge): work with oral system(don't see them as enemies but as allies to help each other, such as oral system acknowledging that there are children that would do better in ASL with the deaf community and the ASL system aware that there are children that can be successful in oralism with assistive devices) and develop equal resources for the hearing parents to have access to (pamphets, booklets, DVDs, vlogs, etc) from deaf people who both experienced oralism and found it a failure and deaf people who grew up using ASL and living positively.
For the anon- too bad I don't know your real online name but that's all right.
Yes, there'd be NICE to have deaf case workers, but at this time, that's not realistic. There's not enough deaf case workers to cover even half of all cities in the United States. That's why I would encourage future deaf college students to think about social work, psychology, human services and law enforcement.
David: Yes it is great that the judge had the staff learn ASL to communicate with deaf children. However, there's a lot of sexual abuse among residental and mainstreamed schools that EITHER use oralism or ASL as communication. Even many children knowing how to use ASL are molested. All of my clients who experienced child molestion know ASL. They never learned oralism in the first place. I think it would come to the fact that deaf children may not understand that sexual abuse is wrong (and raise your hands, all of you, if ANY of you had learned that touching private areas was wrong until way too late?) for one example. It'd take the parents AND the teachers to teach the children that and how to protect themselves. Not many parents and teachers were comfortable to do in the past. I don't know about now.
For Aiden, I can only imagine how VERY tough it was for you when you found out that oralism didn't work for you! I am sure you had felt like a failure and to find out later that it wasn't YOUR fault; it was the audilogists and the oral education system that FAILED. "Once the language deprivation (occurs), how can deaf children speak out about their experience like someone molest her/him or physical(ly) abuse her/him?" It could be more tougher for the deaf children who aren't successful in the oral system and harder to notify trusted adults, I agree with you. Children knowing ASL are no different either. 14% of parents know sign language and so if the child tries to tell them that someone molested them, would the parents understand? That's the question. So, like I said in my entry "damned if you do, damned if you don't." I still remember trying to tell my mother as a teenager about my sexual molestion and she didn't understand me. I even wrote it down and she called me a liar. Know why? She got the impression that all deaf people who sign are LIARS, according to the organization mother signed me up as a baby (John Tracy Clinic.)
Now for Mishkazena: I don't know if I would call it luck. It was the school practicing the oral system that pushed me out despite my mother fought to keep me in that school. They TOLD her to put me in a school that uses sign language. In this case, I would say the teachers did the right thing, ironic, wouldn't you think? To be honest with you, I do not know how many solitaries there are out there. I guess I have known too many oralists, too many ASL supporters, too many DOD and DOH that are happy with either language. I can only think of one, coming to think about it, being unhappy with where she is in life and alone. Like you said about chronic emotional problems, she has some- extremely shy with people (both deaf and hearing), low self-esteem and afraid of socializing. It took some of deaf folks to introduce her to the deaf community yet she chose not to get involved. I asked her why not, and she said that the deaf people makes fun of her and in the past, hassled her by prank calls and making rumors about her. Really, can anyone blame her? I would think that it also depends on where the deaf community is located (rural, town or city) and the average level of maturality. I, don't socialize with the majority of deaf here either because I experienced treatment similar as the woman, despite that I use ASL and work with deaf individuals. There are VERY few people here I can trust and can talk with without gossiping, backstabbing, labelling and playing the "peer pressure" game.
Sorry for getting off the topic about CIs and child abuse- if you don't mind me saying it, I also think it depends on HOW each person reacts to people with CIs and WHAT education he gets and type of socialization they get. Even with deaf children who learn ASL can also be abused just because hello, they could be smart or idiotic. Could be tall or short Could be skinny or fat. Growing up even in that school teaching ASL, I had seen too many kids abused by other kids (bullies) as well as teachers. I'm not saying that ALL schools using ASL are awful or that schools practicing oral are "perfect"; I'm saying that there are other environmental affects beside being deaf using ASL or speaking, that abuse may be included. The deaf children either speaking or signing are ALL disabled, period. And that's what the predators look for.
I think the "Deaf" mother would have done better and gotten her kids back IF there were more drug and alcohol facilities, parenting classes for the deaf!!!! It is very hard for a deaf person to communicate without sign language but it is also hard for deaf people to go to a therapist, drug rehab, groups (NA or AA or other) and have to communicate through a third party (interpreter). We need programs that are for the deaf, so we can serve them better and they can improve thier lives... They can't do it on thier own, just like hearing people, Deaf people need help too. This is why I decided to go to college. I am going to be an interpreter as well as a therapist for deaf children, teens and adults.. Instead of complaining about it.... DO SOMETHING!!! by helping them not pitying them or thinking they will never change.
As for families with deaf children, I believe that if people decide they want to have a child then they should take the responsibility of that child and if they have a child with a disability then learn how to take care of that child. Parents of deaf children, GO TO SCHOOL AND LEARN SIGN LANGUAGE!! It's challenging to learn but it is worth it to be able to communicate with your child. My opinion is that deaf children of hearing parents should be placed in a home that communicates with sign language, so if the hearing parents decide not to learn ASL then they dont deserve that child and that child deserve better. I believe that is a form of abuse (NEGLECT)
I have a sister who is deaf. My mother and I knew sign language. My dad on the other hand, knew how to use his hands but it wasn't for signing, it was for beating her. My heart goes out to all the deaf children that grew up in families without being able to communicate with parents and siblings.
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