Looks like a busy week.

Will be off to a two-day HIV training which is Client-Centered 1:1 Interventions starting tomorrow and finishing Wednesday. 9am to 5pm, which would be very tough on my leg. If I sit too long, my leg stiffens up. (Slow recovery from surgery and damage from hit-and-run.) I had taken that training before last year or was that two years ago? I had lost track, but they messed up the certificat, putting down Jules Wolfers instead of my real name! :p They hadn't renewed the certificate so I had to take it again. That's all right since it'd be a nice refresher class for me! I will also take other six classes..can we say BUSY? The classes are Mental Health & HIV Prevention, Effective Referrals, STDS for Non-Clinicians, Cultural Competence Level 1, 2 and 3. And no, I'm not being paid to attend. It's volunteering and I figure taking those trainings will look excellent on my resume especially certificates I can include in the resume. I gotta do all this because it's my dream to be a mental health counselor/case manager for deaf clients with HIV in the future.

Someone asked me WHY I want to work with deaf clients with HIV. "What's wrong with working with mental ill clients, mental retarded clients or clients that may have problems like addictions, domestic violence or having high-risk activities?" Who says I don't want to work with those clients? I didn't say that. I discovered that there is too few counselors who can sign out there in the United States. It's harder to find counselors who may have experiences in this or that.. There are addiction counselors, there are domestic violence counselors, there are clinical psychologists, you get the idea. It is high likely that when one NEEDS help in a certain area of mental health, you won't find a counselor who can sign. For example, if one needs to go to a 12-step AA group, there is a chance there would be no counselor who could sign. At most, there'd be an interpreter (that is if the organization that'd call up one.) So... the bottom line is..counselors who can sign will need to be generalists. What is that? Let me read from the dictionary:

Generalist: : one whose skills, interests, or habits are varied or unspecialized.

It means that in case of mental health, the counselor would need to have basic knowledge of addiction, high risk adolescence, mental disorders, autism, domestic violence, family violence, PTSD, crisis intervention, etc, etc. I had already taken PTSD and Crisis intervention classes. I worked for an organization that focuses on domestic violence. I also worked for a non-profit organization that worked with deaf clients with mental retardation and other disabilities, as well as an organization working with deaf clients with mental disorders. In March, I will take a two-day workshop on addictions. More knowledge the counselor can collect in her repertory, the more resourceful she can be for the clients and herself.

However, HIV/AIDS have been my passion for a long time as I could remember. Rene (name changed to protect his family) took me into the world of HIV/AIDS. I remember as if it happened yesterday, Rene came to me in 1991. He said that he was afraid to go to the doctor to ask for a HIV test. I asked him why he would even think about that. He said a guy told him that he was HIV positive and that since Rene had sex with him, he should go take a test. I agreed to go with him to a doctor for a blood test. I remember two weeks later or so, I remember how our hearts pounded that I could even feel vibrations in my teeth. The doctor was even considerate of getting an interpreter that day. He told him that the test was positive for HIV but encouraged him to come back in six months. We both were stunned. He asked the doctor more about HIV but the interpreter used a lot of medical terms that went over his and my heads. After the appointment, he asked me more about HIV and I have to tell you, readers, I had NO idea but that HIV kills. It was a bogeyman to me. In a few days, we went to the library to look up and there were a lot of medical terms that I had to read forth and back (looking up dictionary, reading book, then back to dictionary). Due to Rene's 4th grade reading level, he couldn't "get it." So I would read and then translate into ASL for him. My heart was broken for him over much that I am even surprised that it's still beating after all this breaking for months. With him, I learned about what HIV/AIDS means, what it does and doesn't, how it affects the immune system and that it wasn't HIV that'd kill. It's complications that comes to a weakned immune system, hence AIDS with complications.
He had died 4 years ago but bless his heart, he refused to let HIV control his life as possible. He went hiking in the Rocky Mountains and surfing in Hawaii all the time when he felt good. I saw how it was very tough for him, not from the deaf community but from the medical community. It was tough to find an interpreter who knows medical and sexual terms and not spell them out! Can you imagine one going "A-N-A-L-S-E-X" instead of signing it??!! Many times he would show up at the doctor's office to find that there would be no intepreter. Often he would write forth and back and then bring notes to me to read and help interpret words/terms he didn't understand. I decided to do more research on HIV/AIDS myself and I find it an amazing 'machine.' It is a destructive program if you will. There are viruses and bacteria out there that would keep their host alive while eating them, yet this HIV virus killing its own host. This virus has no judgement on who gets it. Women, men, kids, adolescenes, hearing, deaf, catholics, jews, pagans, African-american, hispanic, white, it has no racism, no sexism, no audism, nothing against 'em...but that it is all one blood and immune system to that "destructive program." You can say it is akin to a computer virus, when you think about it.

So, that is one of reasons why HIV/AIDS is one of my passions. 'Boyo,' I won't forget you and your favorite saying, "I ain't beat until I am ready!"

Limited Deaf resources on HIV/AIDS and Poll

I have been thinking about this for a few days... I am not sure if there have been a poll out there to ask THIS question "Do you think HIV/AIDS exist in the deaf community?" among the deaf community in the United States.

A lot of agencies had services set up for the deaf about HIV prevention then died out in a few years because of low turnout and insufficent numbers of clients or funds. (That's what I have been told by some folks who were there.) So far there is GLADD (Los Angeles) Deaf AIDS Project (in Family Services Foundation- Baltimore), Gay men's health Crisis (New York), AIDS Initiative for Deaf Services Task Force (which is located at AIDS Project Hartford, in Conn) and AIDS Foundation of Chicago (Advocate Metro OutReach Deaf and Hard of Hearing Program in Chicago.) If there are more organizations that provide services (outreach, prevention, one-to-one counseling, support groups, workshops applying to HIV/AIDS and STDS), I'm all "ears!" I am sure there are readers out there that are curious too if there are services where they can go in for testing and counseling (IF confidentiality can be managed.)

Now, I would like to see if folks can answer this poll that I created in mind for the deaf readers and perhaps hearing folks if they work with deaf clients. I would like to get an IDEA at least where one can start! Like that main female character in "Dogma" said, "I have an idea, not a belief of what one can do."

Do HIV AIDS exist in the Deaf community?
	Yes!!!
	What is HIV AID??
	No.
	La la la, I'm not listening!
pollcode.com free polls

Where are they?

I have been reading some articles about prostitution out there in the world and yes it includes the United States. For folks who do not understand what the word prostitution means: it means selling your body(intercourse or other sexual behaviors for money or other tangible goals like drugs. There have been statistics on arrest numbers of prostitutes (female and males) and arrests upon johns (people who buy sex) in some states. No one knows the exact number of prostitutes in United States because there has been no tracking. And WHO would want to come up and say "Yeah I'm a prostitute" for even a census survey? Anyway, I was reading this article "how the Dutch protect their prostitutes," "Prostitution in the United States- The Statistics" and even Wikipedia's article on prositution. Only one thing kept popping up in my mind while surveying those articles and others.

Where are the deaf prostitutes?!

DON'T tell me that they don't exist. Don't say "pooh, there are no deaf women or men selling their bodies for money or drugs." I have seen a legless prostitute in a wheelchair (and don't tell me she wasn't a prostitute, she was out there in 20 degrees in an outfit made of only a bra, panties and fishnet dress you can see through) with some other women barely clad. I worked with a mentally ill and deaf client who sold her body for drugs down in a city back in the east coast. What I had learned from her, I could see how it would be easy. I mean, if a deaf woman that barely graduated from high school, living on SSI and craving drugs to forget what she had experienced in childhood (rape by father and then sent into a foster home where she was continuingly raped by someone that should not have even been accepted as a foster parent.)

I read that after communism fell in Russia, many deaf women and men started to sell their bodies in purpose to survive in the chaos. There is noticeable postitution among the deaf population in Africa. HIV/AIDS is very common there in Africa, especially in the vulnerable numbers of women, children and disabled. I am sure some of you have read that men would have sex with children, in the belief that HIV can be "cured"by having intercourse with a virgin child or woman. Hell, I could read articles about deaf women or men going into prostitution in other countries but not here? Is it a taboo to talk about prostitution? Is it something that one shouldn't talk or even think about; the possibility of *gasp* a DEAF person being a prostitute? I read in several reports that disabled children are easier to be taken advantage of by adults for molestion. That goes for drugs... Hell, 1 in 7 deaf uses drugs. 1 in 10 hearing uses drugs. Do math. So, isn't that a potential possbility that there ARE deaf prostitutes out there here in the United States? Are there any services working with those on protecting themselves, STDS prevention, financial management, confidence development and the possibility of leaving prostitution for good? If there are, I would LIKE to know!

I have a deaf friend who is open about herself being a prostitute. She experienced horrible unspeakable incidents throughout her childhood and adolescence, that after she told me of her experiences, I had nightmares for nights afterwards. Not many organizations would take her in because she is not "mental retarded enough", "not mentally ill enough," and/or "not eligible for services." So the vicious cycle continues for her. After I spoke with her about writing this post, she said, "Tell people, don't stick your nose up at us, what are we supposed to do? Slap a happy face on our faces, live in neighborhoods where a woman couldn't walk at night without being assaulted, and survive on ramen noodles rest of our lives? YOU don't know. If you don't know what is going in our lives, then you have NO right to judge us. Screw you all!" What can I say to that? She is right.

You have to love this!

Kurt used his sidekick to take a picture of Boulder and the mountains before we went into Boulder. He was here for his visit with me last October while helping me go through the first anniversity of H&R. Anyway, from this picture you can see how vast the sky is, the beauty of the land and even hint of snow on the ground.

Oh, yeah, I did use my sidekick to take this picture. I have to say sidekicks are a helpful "assistant" especially if you go places and say "oh shoot, I should have brought a camera!" Never worry..the sidekick is there for you. :) Heck, I took pictures of my legs after the October 2005 H&R and even after May 2006 surgery (tendon replacement.)

Oh, if Kurt finds this picture, let me know. Heheheh.

Passion of Mental Health

I cannot remember not being deaf. I attended mainstreamed programs as I could remember. I did not know that a "deaf world" existed. Upon entering Gallaudet University in Washington DC in 1989, my eyes were opened to possibilities of which I have never dreamed. Exposed to so much potential at Gallaudet, I realized there are deaf football players, doctors, lawyers, and even architects. I discovered pride in being deaf. Realizing that I could do everything empowered me. Being deaf does not prevent me from reaching goals. It actually gives me specialized tools that increase my potential.
Never had I thought that I could help other people. I did not imagine that I could positively impact other people's lives with my life and 'disability' experiences. In Baltimore, Maryland, I worked both with deaf clients with mental retardation at a DDA organization, and with deaf clients with mental illnesses at an agency for MHA clients. I learned that I could make a difference.
I realized that because I am deaf, I empathize better with clients. That deeper empathy and understanding of deaf culture has enabled me to train the hearing staff to better understand and work with the deaf clients.
Being deaf has forced me to become extremely observant. I am more alert to any chance in the clients' behaviors. I notice changes that others often do not. This talent helped me to save several clients' lives (finding a client in a building on fire, detecting episodes of diabetic shock, and anticipating seizures are examples.)
Due to my deafness, I have to work hard on ensure that my communications are clear and concise with both the clients and the other staff. Copying my efforts, the clients and staff also began to work harder to communicate more effectively. Learning about newer technologies that have major impacts on the deaf world, with encouragement, the others learned how to use computers and such devices thereby enlarging their world.
Because I have the same 'disability' they do, I demonstrate to my clients a positive deaf role model, a first for many of them. I have seen my positive behaviors and steadying influences increase my clients' motiviation to improve themselves. My clients succeeded in their new jobs and strive toward the goals of developing independence or staying off drugs because of my encouragement and staff support. Many clients have told me that because of my sense of humor and willing to treat them as adult equals, not as children, they developed confidence in themselves and in other people.
With these experiences behind me, it is now my goal to become a mental health counselor. I want to use my education and knowledge to assist my clients and to protect their dignity and independence. The deaf often feel that the world is against them. I believe that they can learn from me how to work with the hearing world to become a team, instead of "me vs. you." I have the positive confidence that the deaf world and the hearing world will bulid a bridge.

Here, as promised, pictures of Tower of London

The raven encounter...If you look close to the rail close to the grass, you'll see this big raven. Heheheh

The side of the Tower of the London. Good picture.

The sweetheart beefeater tour guide and me posing for the camera

The beefeater tour guide. He was such a sweetheart because he ensured that I was front in the group so I can see him and the ASL interpreter. Yes! They do provide ASL interpreters if you ask for one a week ahead. My trip to London was wonderful. I will write more about the trip and what it may mean for deaf visitors.

Written by Jules

Communication Access during Disasters and after.

You know, I had spoken with some interpreters and CODAS after the hurricane Katrina. I thought this may be interesting for y'all.

I have to follow up on ADA requirements to see if that may be actually a hinderance in disasters...

1. Volunteer interpreters came to help the deaf evavuees, however they mostly weren't "certified" considered by FEMA or Red Cross. Never mind that the paid interpreters came LATER..(a week later)

2. Interpreters who volunteered were treated rudely by "certified" interpreters, demanding to see the certificates of the volunteers, never mind that the interpreters had grown up with deaf parents or deaf families, (CODA).

3. During interviews (with FEMA or Red Cross), volunteer interpreters were told that they can't interpret for their deaf relatives or other deaf evacuees, because they weren't "certified." Frankly..... during disasters, the deaf community wants the interpreters NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not two days later..not next week, not two weeks later... and if the volunteer interpreter can sign like a deaf, who are you to tell the deaf community NOT to use that interpreter??!! If there is a certified interpreter there and now, that's great. If there isn't, and if the survivors had to wait another week or two...hell forget it... Hence one basic rule of crisis intervention says 'if the supplies and resources are available now, use them NOW."

An interpreter, Teri, suggests that levels of how skillful the interpreters can be assigned to services, such as very skillful interpreters could be assigned to FEMA interviews, medical assessments, the medium range interpreters could be assigned to medical checkups, social support, and getting necessarities, and low range interpreters could be assigned to handing out food, water, and housing information. I have to agree with Teri... In disasters, both man-made and disasters..if there are accessible services right there right NOW, don't complain that it's not "certified" or "licensed" or "approved." TAKE the services, even if it is a volunteer interpreter who can sign because of his/her deaf family, a guy who knows how to fix a motorized wheelchair but is not licensed in that state the disaster occured, or an RN who can do medical checkups but is deaf, USE THEM... they come to help!

Hence I am concerned about future disasters. FEMA and Red Cross need to think hard and long about interpreters for deaf survivors as well as other disabled individuals. If there are helpers who can assist, let them. Don't wait a week or two weeks.. More the survivors wait after the disaster (and aftermath) to get assistance and that includes communication, you're putting them longer in risk of developing PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Giving of oneself.

It is really sucking when one works at a place where other friends work as well, because there is the issue of boundaries and the common sense to know to say no and not feel guilty. I have seen this so many times, friends giving in to other friends because they thought that is how friendships work...and disasters occur.

I have seen several friends with severe burnouts(including me) because we thought we were needed, and to give, give, and give, and not think "wait a minute..where is MY share of rewards?" Friendships had been destroyed just because that person or that person is a taker, taking advantage of the friendship in name of "business."

I gave up 80 hours a week to be there for 'friends' at work for months. I hadn't even a day off without my pager going off from work! Even on my only vacation(the vacation in 3 years!), I was called to help with a client out of control because no one else could. After months and years, one day I had a good bawl. I had a good rant. At friends' suggestions, I went to see the doctor to find out I had burnout..so I got a LOA away from work..(and of course, the business went into chaos without me there...)

Now I see it happening to other people. Sometimes I sit down with them and ask them to stop and smell the flowers, and to learn how to say no without feeling guilty, and to stop giving. One needs to think "OKay what is the benefit for me from doing this for a friend?" Mind you, I'm not saying to be selfish, however folks NEED personal times for themselves..if one is gonna do all the 6 programs, 3 papers, and 1 grant for one friend, what is the benefit for THAT person who is doing all that? NOTHING. All this is to the benefit of the taker, period!

So....for you all who give, give, give and give... STOP! Ask yourself this.."I had done this and that for my friend, what have s/he done for me?" If the answer is nothing, that is your answer..you're nothing to HIM/HER but something to use.

Yes, sometimes one feels "satisifed" in helping people. I'm all for that. However if it takes more than 40 hours of yours, intervene with your social life, your family and even sleep, it is time to look at your priorities and decide if it's really worth giving up everything you are. Sometimes you DO have to be selfish. I speak from experience.

Where did 2006 go??!

Eek! I didn't realize how time flew! One day I was crazy making copies for my notebook to give to the human services program at my college, printing out graduate applications, writing essays and doing research about universities that offers mental health or psychology graduate programs AND work with deaf clients. Next day I know, it's already 2007; I just returned from another state where family resides. I have to wonder how they could stand Kansas and not go insane. Oh wait, some of my relatives did. Never mind! I looked up my old blog and realized an oop. I said I'd make 10-12 blogs after June and I only made four. Can we say, I'm awfully busy? Hehehe. I look forward to volunteering, writing more articles after I do more research and working on my quilts. I hope to write blogs about HIV/AIDS in Deaf community (yes some of Deaf can get HIV/AIDS, thank you,) start a debate about movies that get on folks' nerves (like "Sound and Fury" "Di Vinci Code" and "Harry Potter" series,) I also want to talk about mental illnesses and discuss books that are about real individuals with mental disorders. Very interesting, I'm telling you! I just finished three books while I was visiting family. What else could I do when they all were content watching television all the time??!!! I read "Murphy's Boy" by Torey Hayden, "Sybil" by Flora Rheta Schreiber and "Nobody's Child" by Marie Balter and Richard Katz. Very good. I will write about those books soon. Also I hope to do research about mental illness in the Deaf community (yes, some of Deaf can have mental disorders.) All right, I have to get going and take a shower. I have a LONG day tomorrow. Oh yeah, by the way, I graduated with a B.S degree in Human Services Mental Health Counseling! Whooo!

Written by Jules